5 days, that's all I have left in the states. I guess this marks the start of my inevitable freak out. I'm so excited, but I'm still very scared. I am leaving everything that I know. I'm leaving every person I have ever known (except Danielle) and going to a foreign country where they do not speak English and I don't speak their language. I won't be home for a year. My connection to the internet is still only hopeful. I should have access, but I don't know to what or when. Bottom line: I'm scared!
I am more than excited about this experience. It will be so worth it, I'm sure. But, I know that it is going to be completely outside my comfort zone and totally different than anything I have ever done before. I am so grateful that I have the freedom to take advantage of this opportunity. I know it will completely change my life.
Despite all the good stuff, it still terrifies me. I am half-way done packing. I have one suitcase full and the other is partly finished. I just need to cram it with shoes and random clothing and goodies.
Tonight was my last "happy hour" with the bf & his work friends. Yeah, I have only been with him for 6 months, but it is still so incredibly hard. It's sad to say goodbye to his friends. We left dinner & there were definitely some tears. I can't imagine what it will be like to say goodbye to him on Wednesday. I need to make the most of the few days that we have left. They will help me get through the tough days in China.
Right now, I just need to vent about my fears and get it all out. The next few days will be a roller coaster. I know that in the morning I will be extremely excited again. And at my family goodbye party, it will again be tough. I am going to miss the birth of my 15th cousin. I will miss cousins starting school, grandparents settling into their new home, aunts & uncles visiting, and so much more. But, the best part about family is that I know they will be there when I get back. I can't wait to come home and tell them all about my adventure.
This post might seem like a downer, but it is how I am feeling. Mom told me I need to post more, so I am. At the least, now you know how I am feeling! I just can't wait to write about all of the exciting and new things in China!
Oh, Lisa- you're so brave! I don't know if I could do what you're doing- I'm so happy for you, what an awesome adventure you're giving yourself! I know it's got to be so very hard to say goodbye to almost everyone...and possibly the internets!! It is good that you're venting- that always helps, doesn't it? Yes, do post more, I look forward to news of how you're doing.
ReplyDeleteAnd your mom needs to officially join and follow your blog! :P
Sorry I couldn't be there at your goodbye party, but that's why I gave you an extra long hug last time I saw you, just in case you were wondering why I couldn't let go. XOXO, happy travels!